With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you may find yourself looking for new love. While many gravitate toward dating apps, others prefer the old-fashioned route of meeting in person, such as at a bar or club. Without any experience, however, navigating the club dating scene can seem intimidating. Here are just a few tips to help you find a boo on your next night out.
Before going out:
Ask yourself what you want to get out of your night. Are you looking for short-term fun or a long-term partner? Knowing your goals will help you better evaluate what you’re looking for.
It’s important to understand that club culture is largely built on the framework of hookup culture and may not always be suitable for finding long-term partnerships. Lastly, dress to impress! When you look your best, you feel your best.
At the club:
You’ve arrived at your destination; now what? First things first, take a look around you and seek out people you’d be interested in talking to. Before approaching, consider how they’re interacting with others. Are they sociable, or do they seem uninterested? Not everyone will be interested in meeting new people, and it’s important to respect that.
When approaching someone, starting with a compliment and a subsequent question is a big help in sparking a conversation. For example, try saying, “I love your shoes; where did you get them?” There’s nothing wrong with going back to basics, either, such as introducing yourself with a handshake. While this can feel awkward and vulnerable, the right amount of confidence can make it seem charming and respectful. Being confident in your vulnerability is a trait many people seek in a partner, and showing that could lead you to a successful night.
Now that you’ve started a conversation, continue along by asking your person about themselves. Not only will this help you get to know each other, but it will also help communicate that you would like to get to know them in the first place. Be cautious of getting too personal or asking too many questions in a row, as this can come off as invasive and interrogative. Leave a good amount of room between each so the other person has some space to ask you questions.
Consider the other person’s reaction to your advances. Paying attention to the conversation and tone of the other person is very important, but it’s possible that focusing solely on someone’s words can make things feel a bit misleading. An enthusiastic response, while a good sign, can sometimes just mean you’ve met a friendly person. So pay close attention to their unspoken communication, too.
Otherwise known as one’s body language, unspoken communication is by far the best sign of someone’s true interest. Look for strong eye contact, a slight lean-in, and small touches on the arm or hands as positive signs to go ahead and work your flirty magic. Using these techniques yourself is also a great way to communicate your interest in the other person.
Decisions:
You’ve found someone who’s into you—great job! I knew you could do it. Now is the time to decide whether you want to pursue this person. If you want to go further, see if they’d like to exchange phone numbers or social media handles.
Keep in mind that there are many ways to go about dating and meeting new people. Use every new encounter as an opportunity to learn about yourself, your likes, and your dislikes, and remember that not every good conversation has to result in a meaningful relationship. At the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is the day of love, and it doesn’t matter what kind. Love will find you when it’s ready, and when it does, it’ll all be worth the wait.
