Rhymes foretell your time

Your own time foretold in rhyme by our semi-certified astrologist, Mystical Mama Angie. Check every Friday for a fauxroscope to see what's in store for you.

Your own time foretold in rhyme by our semi-certified astrologist, Mystical Mama Angie. Check every Friday for a Fauxroscope to see what’s in store for you.


Your year has a lot of potential,

But have you thought about adding some math?

Because by dividing your time a bit better

Your friendships will multiply fast.





ARIES (March 21 – April 20)

Aries, ram, you’re on fire:

Confident, wild, and so-desired.

But ram don’t you misuse your streak

Or you’ll end up way up “sheep” creek.


TAURUS (April 21 – May 21)

Taurus, Taurus, think thesaurus!

Your same-old day-to-day? It bores us!

Remember spon-ta-ne-i-ty?

I think you lost it in grade three!


GEMINI (May 22 – June 21)

Gemini, you’re pretty smart

So why refuse to play the part?

Imagine what you might discover,

When you stop being agent “undercover.”


CANCER (June 22 – July 23)

A rug that pulls from under you,

May leave you feeling black and blue,

But rejig, replace some bits of “rug,”

And you may find you have a “hug.”


LEO (July 24 – Aug. 23)

When you act sad and blueish green

and you don’t say truths or what you mean,

you’ll quickly turn from bein’ fine

to a sighin’ cyan lyin’ lion.


VIRGO (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)

Virgo grab a rogue maraca,

or watch the sunset through binoclas.

Just make some time for passing thoughts,

instead of calling all the shots.

pocket watch

Got some time for a rhyme? Mama Angie will tell you.

LIBRA (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)

Libra, have you tales untold?

You’re always acting good as gold,

How good is gold? We’d like to know.

Is it excellent? Or just so-so…


SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)

Gamblin’ is a big deception

Except the landscapin’ exception.

Signs say: “Prune trees – win cash for debts!”

(But only if you “hedge” your bets.)


SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

If saying “no” is not your thing

Try making “nots” with bits of string.

When people ask you questions now,

Say no as much as strings allow.


CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

The beach is where your you’ll feel inspired

It’s how you’ll shake off feeling wired.

So shut off devices by the water,

Cuz Sanding texts won’t make you hotter.


AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)

Mangoes are your very magic fruit,

Eat those and pears in your pursuit

of trying to beat the mighty completion,

and one day dreams will come to…well…fruit-ition!


PISCES (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20)

Cookie monster once said:

“C is for cookie and that’s good enough for me.”

But we say:

“K is for kooky, and that’s good enough Pisces.”

Photo courtesy of Stock Xchng

Photo courtesy of Stock Xchng