Fauxroscopes: April 24

ARIES (March 21 – April 20)

Like pails of cherries in the sun, there’s always pits in summer fun.

But like lemons into lemonade, a pit into a beach fire can always be made!

TAURUS (April 21 – May 21)

A kayak helps us humans float, and paddleboards are like flat boats.

So make some time to walk on water, especially when the days are hotter. 


GEMINI (May 22 – June 21)

Hikes and bikes are now in season. (And swimming too! Don’t say it’s freezin’!)

So get out there and use your gear, and don’t forget to bring the beer!


CANCER (June 22 – July 23)

Summer nights mean lots of things, from quiet times to summer flings,.

But whether on the beach or in the bars, be sure to watch for shooting stars.


LEO (July 24 – Aug. 23)

Food grows fresh in summer season – not makin’ use is worse than treason!

So aside from wearing your bikini, go find beans and big zucchini!


VIRGO (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)

Summertime and livin’s easy, but sometimes summer’s cool and breezy.

So if you’re chilled just look for ‘hot’, in sauce and tubs and friends you’ve got.


LIBRA (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)

Go barbecue with all your crew, and play in ocean ‘til you’re blue!

But grills and buoys with all you do, don’t forget ‘bout safety too!


SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)

Like a crab you hide away from sun, which some may say makes you no fun.

But like a snappy happy crab in sand, the summer is your wonderland.


SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

If summer’s got you feeling glum, go and find your inner drum.

Music festivals are more than here, and it can be free – just volunteer! 


CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

Like dolphins swimming near a ferry, be playful, splashing and get fresh air-y.

But slippery dolphin is not a pet, so your summer will be wild, we bet!


AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)

Whether stuck inside or on the beach, enjoy the fruits within your reach.

This means picking berries with your friends or catching rays when working ends.


PISCES (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20)

Patient Pisces, always last, your stars are moving very fast.

With winter doldrums way in the past, these summer months will be a blast!


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