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There’s an Elf at my House

Associate Editor Ria Renouf has a (sort of) creepy guest hanging out at her place for the next little while.

Even though I drink more tea than coffee now, I busted 'Artie' trying to get me back on the bean.

Even though I drink more tea than coffee now, I busted ‘Artie’ trying to get me back on the bean.

It all really started one Halloween: as I walked up and down the streets of my town collecting candy, I hadn’t noticed one house sneak a small box with a crank attached to it. When I arrived home, I did what every other kid does – poured my candy onto the floor of our tiny home. As I searched through the pile for as many little Caramilk bars I could find, I spotted the box. Thinking it was candy, but unfamiliar with the brand (I should also mention my English wasn’t up to snuff at this point, either) I treated it the way a monkey would: bashed it on a table, shook it viciously…but to no avail.

It was at this point my godsister pointed out the crank. I couldn’t understand what she meant. “Crank. You have to crank it.” Frustrated with my lack of understanding for the verb, she grabbed the box out of my hands, began cranking it right at my face, and needless to say, my own Halloween costume became wet with fear (read: I peed myself) once that ugly spring with a head at the end of it popped out of that stupid box.

I’m telling this story before I really get into the heart of my post because this Elf on a Shelf dude looks EXACTLY like that stupid Jack in the Box from my yesteryears. The good news? He’s not as creepy. In fact, he’s kind of cool. His name is Artie, and he’s visiting for the holidays, of course.

I find it a bit of a catch twenty-two, with Artie looking the way he does and all. I mean, he’s got the face of a creepy serial killer doll (I’m thinking about the doll from the movie Annabelle, here), but the idea behind what he does for the holiday season is appreciated. I’m not going to lie – as strange as he is, I must say I do like seeing him doing silly things.

I’ve had him for three days now and so far he’s been tame. Aside from catching him play The Evil Within, I’ve spotted him making coffee and reading my Mangas. Especially with my days being incredibly busy, seeing him do all sorts of silly things makes me laugh. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that perception is what makes it. If you’re going to go into something creeped out by it, then it’ll stay creepy. If you’re able to find the silver lining in something, chances are you’ll bring out the positives something has to offer. Would I open a Jack in the Box after having this little elfin guest at my house? Hell no. But at least I’m getting a little bit of Christmas cheer out of this.

It’ll be interesting to see what else he does these next few weeks…I’ll just have to ignore the creepy eyes.


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