There’s some witchcraft afoot. Check out your freaky fauxroscope. Photo courtesy of Stock Xchng.

ARIES (March 21 – April 20)

This time of year it’s useful to assess life using a costume-benefit analysis. Are you exuding enough sparkle? Are you more often yourself, or someone else? Is your life peaceful or is it full-on war(drobe)?

TAURUS (April 21 – May 21)

Taurus, quit moonlighting as the person you want to be, and just go for it fully. A creature like you should follow your passion. But please, don’t rely on luck. Have the werewolf-al to plan how to get there.

GEMINI (May 22 – June 21)

BOO! Now that we have your attention, Gemini, prepare for a spectre-cular week that will put you in good spirits. It’ll be like you have supernatural powers.  You can do anything. Ghost get’em!

CANCER (June 22 – July 23)

Cancer, look forward to a vamp-tastic week ahead. No, no, don’t fangk us, fangk yourself! You’ve bloody earned it! Cape up the good work!

LEO (July 24 – Aug. 23)

Skeleton says here comes a boneanza! Prepare to capitalize on a rib-diculous time ahead! Whether in skull or at work, you’ll have a fibula-us time!

VIRGO (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)

Casper the friendly ghost says it’s time to host a scary dinner party. Make all those fun Halloween things, like fake cookie fingers. When guests arrive put a sheet over you. Be the “ghost-ess with the most-ess.”

LIBRA (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)

Scary spider says avoid getting caught up conforming to what’s expected of you.  Break free. Weave all been there. Just keep perspective and be a little web-ellious sometimes.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)

Jack-o-lantern says it can be hard to compete with all the pumpkins out there. So, to achieve success, keep carving out a niche for yourself! You candle-it! Go for the glow-ry!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

Zombie says lately if you feel like the living dead you either need more sleep or you’ve become a zombie. Luckily you can use your dating life to figure it out. Do you usually go for looks or for brains?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

Black cat says it’s not good to be superstitious. Cat says instead make soup that is delicious. Or be super and do your dishes. Regardless Capricorn, we think black cat just wants to be your friend.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)

Aquarius here is a simple Halloween date night. First, set the mood with the crooning yet scary sounds of the late great Frankenatra. Then, cuddle up to that good ol’ black and white ghost-mance, Casperblanca.

PISCES (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20)

Trick or treater says just because people are sweet doesn’t mean it’s real goodness. On the other hand, if someone seems hard on the outside, get know their ingredients. Inside, they could be a big softie.

IF THIS WEEK IS YOUR BIRTHDAY:

Born around Halloween, you are well-spooken, zombfident and scare-asmatic. These qualities will come through for you this year. You will rise to the top. It’s your turn to be the big hallow-inner.