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BC Gov Distributes COVID Tests Just in Time for Pandemic to Be Over

A covid test

The BC government has finally gotten around to distributing COVID tests.

“We’ve been busy, OK?!” says Minister of Health Adrian Dix.

The Government stockpiled hundreds of tests during the Omicron wave, but when the Rapid Antigen tests were found to be essentially useless, they decided they might as well hand them out.

“It should provide a sense of reassurance to those not paying attention,” says Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry.

“To be honest I’m not that reassured,” says McKayla Henderson who was exhibiting symptoms and took five rapid tests that came back negative before finally taking a PCR test that came back positive.

COVID cases are once again on the rise as masks come off and restaurants, bars and clubs return to full capacity.

“Just blame young people!” says Premier John Horgan. “It worked for me at the beginning of the pandemic.”

When asked if people would be allowed to travel on airplanes using a Rapid Antigen test Henry responded, “God no, have you seen how unreliable those things are? You should put about as much faith in those results as spitting on a pregnancy test.”